The Quad

The Quad is a central place on most campus that you see the students lounging in the grass in all of those university brochures. And they do lounge, but what those brochures don't show you is the epic hellhole that the Quad becomes on a daily basis.

The Quad is traversed by most students on their way to class, but it's also where every dickwad with a cause comes to get in everyone's way and make them late for class. Many schools, especially in the South, feature one or more far-right Christian extremists preaching their hate speech with signs nailed to crosses or sung along to with a guitar. On your way to Chem 101, they will tell you that you are going to Hell because you are a fornicator. Then Mr. Neo-Fascist will attract a large crowd who vainly attempt to argue with him, and neither side realizes that they are blocking the way and pissing everyone else off.

Your Quad might also be blessed with artsy hippies peddling their beads, spirit catchers, and other garbage. And if you're fortunate, there will be Hare Krishnas. They will chant the same thing over and over while selling vegan-friendly food that smells worse than Indian takeout stuffed in a used diaper. And to top it all off, middle-class white kids who think they are anti-establishment because they wear bandannas and ride bicycles everywhere will stop to partake in the festivities. If you're lucky, they might even whip out a hacky-sack and accidentally kick it in your face.

When the time comes for student government elections, avoid the Quad at all costs. You will be bombarded by hundreds of damn fliers and petitions from every single student party and candidate. They will promise to increase student services and simultaneously promise to lower your activity fee, just like a real politician. Ultimately, all of this campaigning is a huge waste of time as the Greeks will win 90 percent of the Senate seats every semester because they threaten to beat their pledges if they don't vote. Almost no other students vote, because just like in American politics, it's your democratic right not to give a crap.